THERE IS SOMETHING VERY INTIMATE ABOUT SLEEPING IN YOUR VERY OWN ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER AND IF THIS IS IT THAN I AM FEELING ALL OF IT. THERE IS SOMETHING VERY INTIMATE ABOUT DRINKING YOUR MOTHER'S TEA AND HELPING DAD WITH DINNER AND IF THIS IS IT THAN I AM FEELING ALL OF IT. 

THREE DAYS WITHOUT MELATONIN AND I AM NOT ABLE TO SLEEP, BUT I MAKE MYSELF BUSY WITH THINGS LIKE MOVIES AND POEMS AND BOOKS. IT IS NOT SMART TO WALK AROUND AT NIGHT WHEN I WANT TO THINK ABOUT SOME THINGS BECAUSE IN THE CITY THERE ARE ALWAYS OTHER PEOPLE AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE LIKE HOW YOU WERE IN YOUR HOME TOWN. I DO NOT MISS IT. THE CITY I MEAN. I AM ACTUALLY GETING PRETTY FUCKING SICK OF IT. TOURIST SHOPS ARE ALWAYS TOO BRIGHT AND DURING THE WINTER AND THIS TIME OF THE YEAR EVERYONE IS VERY SLOW AND THEY DO NOT KNOW THAT THEY CAN CROSS THE STREET AND THINGS OF THAT SORT. I AWAYS BLAME MYSELF FOR BEING THIS CRABBY BUT THIS TIME I THINK IT MIGHT NOT BE ME. 

SCREEN TIME IS UP TO ABOUT EIGHT HOURS A DAY AND THAT IS REALLY FUCKING BAD I NEED TO OCCUPY MY BRAIN MORE AND GO OUTSIDE MORE AND TALK TO MORE PEOPLE. I SHOULD STUDY MORE AND CREATE MORE. FOR NOW I WILL JUST WRITE. I AM VERY TIRED.